1
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,704
( giggles )
        Look at this "Garfield."

2
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:07,973
( speaking french )

3
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,678
( all laughing
      With french accent )

4
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,249
I don't care what
      Language you speak,
      That cat's funny.

5
00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:19,284
What have you
             Got there, harry?

6
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,954
Yesterday I was
Exploring the park,
And I found this stone.

7
00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,956
Look at it.
         It's been worn

8
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:28,393
To a perfect sphere
      By the elements
      And dimpled by time.

9
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,762
Harry, that's
A golf ball.

10
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,199
You've got way too much
        Free time on your hands.

11
00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,669
Well, you know, dick, I've tried
A lot of different things
Since we got to earth,

12
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:41,240
And I've made a discovery--
  I'm not good at anything.

13
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,642
There's got to be something
     That you can do.

14
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,345
Here, let me look
           Through the want ads.

15
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,813
- what's that smell?
      - I'm making
        Blueberry muffins.

16
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,216
- smells like they're done.
  - no, the timer
    Didn't go off.

17
00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,818
- yes, but lieutenant--
    - I have incinerated
      Entire armies.

18
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,655
I think I can handle
      An oven.

19
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,657
I'm glad to hear
        You say that

20
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,993
- 'cause I signed you up
      For a bake sale.
    - what's a bake sale?

21
00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,929
It's just an attempt
      To revive a failing
      Educational system

22
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,965
Through parental
        Involvement.

23
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:09,934
A fine cause.
               I'm there.

24
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:12,571
I really think you should
Check on those muffins.

25
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,507
The box said 15 minutes.
        You don't argue
        With the box.

26
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,509
Here's something
              That you could do.

27
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,544
They want somebody
              To sweep up
The burger palace.

28
00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,546
Oh, sure,

29
00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,483
After about four years
     Of grad school maybe.

30
00:01:24,485 --> 00:01:26,518
-<I> ( timer dings )</I>
      - now they're done.

31
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,220
Ooh!  Look at this.

32
00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,290
Here's a job I can do.

33
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:33,659
"Police seek third gunman."

34
00:01:36,897 --> 00:01:40,198
Tomorrow I'm going
    To march right down
    To the police station

35
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,169
- and tell them I'm the man
    They're looking for.
  - good for you.

36
00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:46,171
-<I> ( smoke alarm beeping )</I>
   - they're ready,

37
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:49,007
But they're just going
     To be a little burnt.
     ( coughs )

38
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:51,009
<I> ( '50s rock music playing )</I>

39
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,780
- this is the bake sale
      Committee, right?
    - yes.

40
00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:32,417
- I don't believe
  I've seen you before.
- I don't believe you're blond.

41
00:02:36,357 --> 00:02:39,023
Okay, everybody,
      Let's take our seats

42
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,126
And get started.

43
00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:43,962
As you know,
           This is my sixth year

44
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,632
As chairman
               Of the bake sale.

45
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,634
And, um...

46
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,536
I think we've done
           Pretty darn well.

47
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:55,140
- last year, we raised $500.
 -<I> ( all murmuring favorably )</I>

48
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,008
How much did you
Make before that?

49
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,010
Well, I don't
             Want to brag,

50
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,914
But we've made roughly $500
     Each of the last six years.

51
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,949
Uh-huh.  So what
You're saying is,

52
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,319
The group is stagnating
Under your leadership.

53
00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:11,222
You're new around here.

54
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,492
Let's start the meeting,
        Shall we?

55
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,560
Any thoughts
            On this year's sale?

56
00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:17,562
Yeah, I have a thought.

57
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,831
This group isn't advancing.
It's retreating.

58
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:22,301
You dropped
    The ball, sister.

59
00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,403
I am a master chef.

60
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:27,472
I trained at the culinary
Institute of pittsburgh.

61
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:30,041
I think I know
             A little bit
             About baking.

62
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,811
Okay, well, here's what
I know about baking: zip.

63
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,913
These troops
    Need a leader,

64
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:38,149
Not some chirpy,
     Weak-chinned,
     Underachieving drone.

65
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:40,084
No offense.

66
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:43,021
Look, if you aim
           For 500 bucks,
           You get 500 bucks.

67
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:45,089
But there's a saying
      Where I come from--

68
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:48,894
"When you want to punch
  Someone in the nose, you aim
  For the back of the head."

69
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,896
That is, if they
Have a head.

70
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:54,365
So aim for 10 grand
    And don't settle for
    Anything less than five.

71
00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:56,768
Um, grace...

72
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,937
I think she should
           Be in charge.

73
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,046
- ah!  Good morning, nina.
   - good morning.

74
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:11,683
Nina, my brother harry is
Trying to find something
To keep himself busy.

75
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,385
I was just wondering,
How did you get this job?

76
00:04:14,387 --> 00:04:16,521
I found a magic lamp
            On the beach,

77
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,657
And this was
             My first wish.

78
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:20,659
Wonderful.

79
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:24,195
How can harry get hold
Of a magic lamp?

80
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:28,867
- good morning,
Dr. Solomon.
      - ah, dr. Albright.

81
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,869
There's something different
  About you this morning.

82
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,805
- I have a new blouse.
     - no, that's not it.

83
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,408
And I hope you didn't pay
   Too much for it.

84
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,778
That's it!
               It's the box.
               What's in it?

85
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,080
Oh, this?
       Painting supplies.

86
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,983
I'm taking a painting class.
  I'm not very good at it.

87
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,151
So, you're bad.

88
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,153
I wouldn't say
         I was bad.

89
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,156
You have to understand I have
 Incredibly high standards

90
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,826
And I tend to be
    Very critical of myself.

91
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,828
But, as an amateur,

92
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,897
I've demonstrated
   Quite a bit of potential.

93
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,832
So, you're bad.

94
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,002
Yeah,

95
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,004
But art is
    Essentially subjective.

96
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,006
There is no good or bad.

97
00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:11,342
- so if you stink, you're
     Still allowed to do it?
   - well...

98
00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:13,945
- that sounds perfect.
     - are you interested?

99
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,947
Me?  Don't be
         Ridiculous.

100
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,882
- I was talking
          About harry.
        - oh.

101
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,452
Oh, you thought<I> I</I>
    Was worried about being
Less than perfect?

102
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,788
( laughs )
          That's rich.

103
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,690
<I> ( laughing continues )</I>

104
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,927
Here's how
      It's going to work.

105
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,830
Doors open, crowd come in.
First thing they see:
Finger pastries.

106
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,431
They nosh a little,
They're delighted.

107
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,600
They continue on
      To the layer cakes.

108
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,169
The smell hits 'em,
      They're drooling
      Like rabid dogs.

109
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,171
Then the heavy artillery.

110
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,941
They reach the walnut
    Bread, the almond bars,
    The cashew squares.

111
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,010
Bang!  We got 'em
By the roasted nuts.

112
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:49,180
- carry on, lieutenant.
    - thank you, sir.

113
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,415
Sally, that was
       Andy larson on the phone.

114
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:54,619
Did you really make his mom
     Do one-handed push-ups
     Till she cried?

115
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,791
Yes.  She had to be broken
For the sake of the unit.

116
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,727
You know, this art
       Is fascinating.

117
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:04,829
Every era, every culture,

118
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,865
They all have
         Their own art.

119
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:10,035
- what drives them
         To create this?
       - naked women.

120
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,403
These are not
    Naked women.

121
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,438
They're nudes.

122
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,942
Nudity is the artist's
    Passionate celebration
    Of the human form.

123
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,610
Well, party on.

124
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:23,815
Dick, why is it that you see
Nude people in museums,

125
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:26,484
- but they never
         Show 'em on tv?
       - sure, they do,

126
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:28,720
But never in comedies,
     Only in dramas,

127
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,756
And, even then,
   Only when the ratings sag.

128
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,825
Harry.

129
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,827
Harry, what's wrong?

130
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,897
I got fired from my job
       At the kids' pizza place.

131
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,700
- oh, no.
   - yes.  They dressed me up
     Like a giant mouse,

132
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,202
So I figure I'll just
Get into character,

133
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,271
And then they complain
       When I eat off the floor.

134
00:06:47,273 --> 00:06:49,941
Don't you worry about that.
I found something else
For you to do.

135
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:52,010
You're coming with me
To an art class.

136
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,846
Art?  I wasn't creative
         Enough to be a rodent.

137
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,448
No, no, you don't have
   To be creative to do art.

138
00:06:57,450 --> 00:07:00,619
You just have to
      Be a certain type.
      You've been ostracized,

139
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:03,688
Spit upon, and strangers
    Repeatedly tell you
    That you're crazy.

140
00:07:03,690 --> 00:07:06,625
You've got
Everything it takes.

141
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,527
"The last supper"
     By leonardo da vinci.

142
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:13,364
Boy, the guy in the middle
      Really knows how to throw
      A party, huh?

143
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,533
And he's sitting
    In front of the archway.

144
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,469
- so what?
      - the negative space
        In the archway

145
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,471
Draws our focus.

146
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,573
And the hills
      Outside the archway

147
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:25,143
Fade into a bluish haze,
    Creating distance.

148
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,479
So it's sort of like
     It's not just a party,

149
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:30,715
It's a going-away party.

150
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,520
- harry, I'm impressed.
- mmm, me, too.

151
00:07:35,522 --> 00:07:37,522
Can we buy it?

152
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,458
Don't be silly.
      After one week,
      We'd be sick of it.

153
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,966
Oh, dick, this
           Is wonderful.

154
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,401
Do you have any idea
            How good it feels

155
00:07:50,403 --> 00:07:53,571
To do something
             For the first time
             And not suck at it?

156
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,576
Well, hello.
        It's nice to see
        A couple of fresh faces.

157
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,812
Squeeze my head.
                It's soft.

158
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,888
Oh, harry, that's
             Really interesting.

159
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,890
- I remember that.
       - yeah.

160
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,559
That was that thing
       That burst out
       Of that guy's thorax.

161
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,661
And we hit it and hit it
And hit it...

162
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,629
Both:
   And it just wouldn't die.

163
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,532
( both laughing )

164
00:08:21,534 --> 00:08:24,602
It's... A family joke.
Sorry.

165
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:27,806
All right, class,
       Let's take a look

166
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,808
At what we've
    Been working on
    For the last two weeks.

167
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,177
- who would like
          To be first?
        - mary.

168
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,112
( students groan )

169
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,184
I call this painting
      "Spirits of spring."

170
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,519
When I was growing up
     In indiana

171
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,455
And all the other kids
     Would exclude me
     From their playing,

172
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,791
I'd sit in my yard
      And anxiously await

173
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:50,261
The tiny crocuses to pop
    Their happy heads out
    From their winter sleep.

174
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,931
Oh!  That's
A beautiful story.

175
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,999
- oh!
    - it's a lousy painting,

176
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:57,368
But it is
A beautiful story.

177
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,304
It's very nice,
            Dr. Albright.

178
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:02,974
- anyone have any comments?
  - uh, well, I--

179
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,476
Oh, never mind.
            It's stupid.

180
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,646
Well, don't let that
Stop you, harry.
Go ahead.

181
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:10,648
Well, um...
          I just find

182
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,351
That my focus is drawn
   To the upper right corner,

183
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,754
But when it gets there,
    There's nothing to see.

184
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,889
Maybe you could add
    A splash of yellow

185
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:21,059
To carry out the motif
You've already established.

186
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:25,230
- but what do I know?
   - actually, that's
     A very good suggestion.

187
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,232
- really?
           - really?

188
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:30,534
Yes!  Harry,
            You've really opened
            Something up for me.

189
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,771
I know exactly
             What you're saying.

190
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:36,207
Thank you.
Wow!  Thank you!

191
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:42,280
You work with her.
              Is this sarcasm?

192
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,786
Low-mass black holes form

193
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:52,123
Only when matter
    Is compressed
    Into enormous densities

194
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,192
By very large
      External pressures--

195
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,728
And this demonstrates
    Which principle of
    Quantum matter physics?

196
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,799
( sighs )

197
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,036
I'll give you a hint.
   It has nothing to do
   With geometric cosmology.

198
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,138
Anyone?

199
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,174
( sighs )
   If no one answers,
   I'll have to pick someone.

200
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:13,144
Someone please answer.
Please raise your hand.

201
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,814
Please, someone.
        Answer, please.

202
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,449
Leon, since you're talking,
  I'll ask you.

203
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,719
- what's the principle?
    - wetness?

204
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:24,622
- no.  Try again.
   - dr. Solomon, why do you
     Keep calling on leon?

205
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,726
It's just not
             Funny anymore.

206
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:29,728
That's nonsense.

207
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,896
Leon, the only way of
   Understanding the universe

208
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,232
Is to find the limits
   Of your own intelligence.

209
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,267
I think I've
    Reached my limit.

210
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,338
- bug.
      - yes, dr. Solomon?

211
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,240
- you're hiding something.
   - it's just a doodle.

212
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,776
A doodle?

213
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:46,778
Why, this is
        A picture of me

214
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,714
With antlers and something
   Coming out of my buttocks.

215
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,984
It's a tail.

216
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,986
Well, it is.

217
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,688
That's brilliant!
    The lines, the contours,

218
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:00,925
The way you've
    Picked up the essence
    Of my rugged good looks.

219
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,394
- it's just a doodle.
     - just a doodle?

220
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,964
And alan thicke
       Is just an actor.

221
00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:08,800
<I> ( class bell rings )</I>

222
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:11,602
Tomorrow I want
    Everyone to bring in
Three sharpened pencils,

223
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,005
And bug will teach
     Us all how to doodle.

224
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,340
All right.

225
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,027
Damn!

226
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,434
I've tasted your butter
    Cookies, mrs. Stevenson,

227
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,737
And, yes, I<I> can</I> believe
    It's not butter.

228
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,175
Use a butter substitute,
    And you'll find
    Yourself saying,

229
00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:54,079
"I can't believe I was bounced
 Out of this bake sale
 Right onto my ass."

230
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:56,915
Get with the program.

231
00:12:01,788 --> 00:12:03,822
Tommy,

232
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,924
Do you ever doodle?

233
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,333
Why?  Was I in
     The bathroom too long?

234
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,405
I-- I can't doodle.

235
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,210
Well, dick,
You're kind of old.

236
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,179
Old?  Picasso doodled
     On tablecloths

237
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,181
Late into his 60s.

238
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,683
- that's disgusting.
      - I know.

239
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,120
I just can't draw.

240
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:37,789
Oh, doodling!  Oh.

241
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:41,126
It's inexplicable.

242
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,763
I, who bestride this world
 Like an intellectual colossus,

243
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:48,199
I, who make lesser men quiver
 In awe of my cranial prowess,

244
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:50,268
I, who--

245
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,103
I've forgotten my point.

246
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,039
Dick,
         I invented a new color.

247
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,208
I combined
            Red and yellow.

248
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,478
I call it red-yellow.

249
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:03,314
- I can't wait to show
It in art class.
     - great!

250
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:07,218
Mix up a whole vat of it.
   Go!  Hop to it,

251
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:10,421
You ironically-gifted
     Chowderhead.

252
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,725
- why did I say that?
      What's wrong with me?
    - could it be--

253
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,595
And this is just a wild guess--
That harry is way better
At something than you?

254
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,730
Give me some credit.
    I'm the high commander.

255
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:22,000
I don't engage in
       Petty rivalry.

256
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,069
Look, dick, you're actually
Younger than me, right?

257
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:28,006
- right.
    - but on this mission
      You got to be taller.

258
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,642
Now, don't you think
    That eats my lunch
    Just a little bit?

259
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,113
- you don't see me whining.
  - how can you be so cool
    About it?

260
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,448
'cause I'm older
    Than you, little buddy.

261
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:43,321
Tommy, I got
A reconnaissance report
From mrs. Nadle.

262
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,556
Our only real competition
Is the kissing booth.

263
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,892
This year
       They have hookers.

264
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:52,230
- sally, those are cheerleaders.
- not if they're charging.

265
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:57,135
Banana nut muffin heads.

266
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,138
- are there two parts banana
    To every one part walnut?
- yes, ma'am.

267
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,140
- I can't hear you.
      - yes, ma'am!

268
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,380
Mmm, mighty tasty rugula,
   Mrs. Greenstein.

269
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,649
Thank you, ma'am.

270
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:17,521
Now, before we open
The doors, I just have
One more thing to say.

271
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,890
You are, by far,
     The saddest, sorriest,

272
00:14:19,892 --> 00:14:21,892
Most pathetic group
      Of mothers...

273
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,696
I have ever had
    The honor of commanding,

274
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,631
<I> and I'll never</I>
            <I> forget you.</I>

275
00:14:27,633 --> 00:14:28,799
Music.

276
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,134
<I> ( "Ride of</I>
   <I> the valkyries" playing )</I>

277
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:32,470
Doors.

278
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:35,706
All right, ladies,
Take no prisoners

279
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,641
Or personal checks.

280
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,016
Dick, are you mad at me?

281
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,922
- no.
       - lately you get
         This weird grin,

282
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:55,426
Like you're hiding something.
 It's not about art class,
 Is it?

283
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,362
Art class?  Why, no,
    I don't care about art.

284
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:01,599
Let's not forget what
   One of the great thinkers
   Of the 20th century said--

285
00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,335
"Art is no damn good."

286
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,305
- what great thinker said that?
- jesse helms.

287
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:10,974
Besides, I've made
    A command decision.

288
00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,611
We're not going
    To art class anymore.
It's not productive.

289
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:16,214
We've experienced it.
    Let's move on.

290
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,182
All righty.

291
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,456
Permission to speak,
            High commander?

292
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:29,159
- what did you say?
  - permission to speak, dick?

293
00:15:29,161 --> 00:15:31,596
You've never asked
  Permission to speak before.

294
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:34,565
Dick, this art thing
      Means a lot to me,

295
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,567
And I have no idea why.

296
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,403
All I know is that
       I like doing it.

297
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,906
So I want to go tomorrow
    Whether you go or not.

298
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,777
( whispers )
          I'm sorry.

299
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,482
There's no need to be sorry
For something you're good at.

300
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,951
- you go to class.
       - really?

301
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,919
Ye-es.

302
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,991
If that's what makes you
    Happy, then I'm happy.

303
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,995
Ohh, thanks, dick.

304
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,165
Mmm, now there's
       The smile I like.

305
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,745
You're soaking wet.

306
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,913
Am I?

307
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,249
You've been acting strangely.
What's wrong?

308
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:27,418
It's kind of hard
           To talk about.

309
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,587
I have this... Friend

310
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,723
Whose brother harry is
          A much better artist
          Than he is.

311
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,092
Oh, so this is
    About you and harry.

312
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:37,361
Am I that transparent?

313
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:40,298
I'm going to tell you
      A little story.

314
00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:44,968
My partner
   In dance class in college

315
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,970
Was a girl named nadia.

316
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,340
She got all the leads,
     All the attention.

317
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,776
People would
        Call her lithe,

318
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,645
Willowy, leggy.

319
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,015
I rehearsed with her.

320
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,150
I showed her a tremendous
Amount of support.

321
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,219
I went to all
    The recitals.

322
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,288
She'd leap and twirl
    On the stage,

323
00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:07,458
Exuding this incredible
    Sensual grace,

324
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,961
While I sat there,
A frozen smile on my face,

325
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,431
Loathing her
For my own inadequacies.

326
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,366
Well, you have
          Any pictures of her?

327
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:19,169
That's not the point.

328
00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:20,738
The thing
       I came to realize

329
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,407
Was that she
        Needed me there.

330
00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:26,276
My support inspired
      Her to dance.

331
00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:29,012
- that was enough for you?
- well, look at the "Mona lisa."

332
00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,014
She never picked up
      A paintbrush,

333
00:17:31,016 --> 00:17:33,617
And yet she inspired
    The most famous painting
    In the world.

334
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,454
- so it's like whistler
      And his mother.
    - exactly.

335
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,556
- van gogh and
        His potato eaters.
      - yes.

336
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,558
Michelangelo
             And his, uh...

337
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,728
Ceiling full of naked guys
      Trying to touch fingers.

338
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,730
- more or less.
        - inspiration.

339
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,965
- yes.
             - yes!

340
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:50,701
Thank you!
               Thank you!

341
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:53,937
That little story
       Really helped me.
       Thank you!

342
00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,673
Sure.

343
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,976
Oh, and by the way,
      I love your stubby
      Little legs.

344
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,219
Harry, were
Your parents artistic?

345
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:12,456
Not really.
      My mother was
      A cold receptacle,

346
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:14,992
And my father
      Was just a machine.

347
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,629
Well, we all have
       Our baggage.

348
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,832
But don't forget,
       Out of suffering

349
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,834
Comes creativity.

350
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,836
You can't spell "Painting"
   Without "Pain."

351
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:27,838
Mmm...

352
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,073
Or "Ting."

353
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,312
Oh, dick, you came.

354
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,982
- are you going to paint?
   - even better.

355
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:41,585
I now accept the fact
     That I do not have
     Artistic talent,

356
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:43,821
Like you, like harry.

357
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,423
I know now that
      I will never be able

358
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:48,559
To be a part
     Of a class like this,

359
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:50,661
But dr. Albright
        Has made me see

360
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,231
The joy that I can take
In inspiring other people.

361
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,001
No, I will never be
      An artist,

362
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:59,537
But I can make
        A great subject.

363
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,505
Prepare to meet...

364
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,473
Your muse!

365
00:19:22,227 --> 00:19:24,227
Oh, great...

366
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:26,196
I'm gonna need
More pink.

367
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,434
You're telling me

368
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,937
Dr. Solomon
            Posed for this?

369
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,674
- yes.
           - mm-hmm.

370
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,643
Mmm, well, hello,
           Dr. Solomon.

371
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,712
Well, hello, nina!

372
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,717
Well, I'll leave
    You three alone.

373
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,289
Oh!  This is wonderful.

374
00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:54,592
I really did inspire
      You, didn't I?

375
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:58,028
- yes.
   - you know, the whole time
I was standing there,

376
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,198
I kept thinking about
    How you inspired nadia.

377
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,901
- whatever happened to her?
  - alcoholic,

378
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:05,903
Trailer park,
         Seven kids.

379
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,170
( laughs )

380
00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:09,539
No, it really
         Is a shame.

381
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:14,078
What do you call it?

382
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,279
"Middle-aged naked guy
    Who can't paint."

383
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,754
Leading that bake sale
          Was exhilarating.

384
00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,423
Those women were crying
         Out for leadership.

385
00:20:26,425 --> 00:20:29,493
You know,
         Over half this planet's
         Population is female.

386
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,895
If I could just
Harness their power,

387
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,965
We could easily turn men
    Into a slave race.

388
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:40,104
Or maybe just talk hair.

389
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,573
You know, I've discovered

390
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,643
That here on earth
       Every human has

391
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,745
His own talents
       And his own flaws.

392
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,213
The smart ones have learned
  To use their talents,

393
00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,215
But the happy ones

394
00:20:52,217 --> 00:20:54,317
Have learned
     To accept their flaws.

395
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,319
I know I've accepted mine.

396
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:58,756
Permission to mention
  Your receding hairline, sir?

397
00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,893
Permission denied.

398
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:06,329
Well, here's
    My latest painting.
It's a still life.

399
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,732
- that's very interesting.
   - and very dark.

400
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,734
It's a bunch
Of rotten fruit.

401
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,571
Yeah, I really got
   To learn to paint faster.

402
00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:16,674
<I> ( "Ride of the valkyries"</I>
           <I> playing )</I>

403
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:23,213
<I> ( '50s rock music playing )</I>